Substitute Shinigami
by Meander Red
Summary: Ichigo is Soul Society's only substitute shinigami. But balancing that responsability and classwork has become difficult for him. What happens when one of the shinigami has to substitute for Ichigo's class in the living world? Temp hiatus due to computer.
1. Lesson Plan

"I do not understand why this is necessary."

"As soutaicho explained, Kurosaki Ichigo has an obligation to help Soul Society as a substitute shinigami. But still being alive, he has his own obligations in the living world. Including attending school. If he feels in danger of failing when there is no crisis, then he will refuse to help. It's a matter of pride and holding onto what is left of his life."

"No imminent crisis? I would not have thought even a low-bred ingrate like him could have failed to realize that was a-,"

"I know. But no one is dying now right in front of him. His family and friends aren't in danger right now. His fight is in his head."

"I see. So my role in this is to do what?"

"You need to modify the memories of his teacher and his class enough that he will not be held back. You are strong enough to manage."

"And why has Rukia not done this?"

"She has. Some of Ichigo's classmates are very spiritually aware. It literally would take someone on par with a captain to make them forget."

"I see. And you are not able to be there as well. Very well, I agree to help. What is it I will actually be doing then?"


	2. Morning Routine

Ichigo yawned and scratched his head in irritation as he made his way to his seat before the bell rang. Normal old people were supposed to sleep more, but not Ol' Beardo. He was still convinced that he was invincible. Hell, with how spiritually unaware his old man was, Ichigo would not have been surprised if his father believed in a tooth fairy that flew around in a tutu looking like Rukia's Chappy drawings. He dodged to the side as Kiego came sliding into the classroom, nearly bowling into Ichigo on sheer force of momentum.

"Guess what!!! Sensei is out. We have a sub! You know what that means? No work! Just goofing around all day."

Quietly, Rukia turned towards Ichigo and gave him a look. He scowled back, but he could catch Inoue, Chad, and Ishida all exchanging similar looks with each other and he did the same on a sheer instinctive response. None of them looked at the higher seated officers who had been coming in and out of class lately, except for Renji. That might have been because Renji had put on something that Ichigo was fairly sure had been banned from wearing in public 30 years ago. It was hard for them not to stare at all of them though with how freaky Ikkaku and Yumichika appeared to most of Ichigo's classmates.

Anyone who didn't hit on Matsumoto was equally terrified of her and Hitsugaya very rarely showed up, something Ichigo felt was as much out of the necessity of monitoring for reports from Soul Society as it was to avoid comments about the "freaky little genius from elementary school kid who is probably in a gang". Ichigo couldn't blame him. He tried to spends as much time as he could avoiding the idiots who thought that he was a troublemaker with dyed hair.

"That means you'll get a chance to help with more hollows if there is an alert today." Rukia whispered it softly enough that while audible, it was lost in the surrounding conversation enough that she could pass it off as a

"No."

"So you are going back on your word? You did agree to be shinigami, didn't you?"

"Dammit, Rukia! We aren't arguing this point, not now at school where everyone can hear he hissed, trying to avoid being strangled as Rukia chose to move forward so that she had her weight against the back of his chair and use the momentum to be able to trap him in a headlock.

"Give me my pencil back, thou villain!" she declaimed before she continued far more quietly. "Say anything and I'll kill you."

"Rukia, dammit, let go of me!"

"Kuchiki-san, what are you doing to Kurosaki-kun?" Inoue asked in alarm, trying to talk both of them into stopping before Chad and Tatsuki came over as well. Chad stood for a second, simply asking Rukia to stop before he would need to embarrass her by picking her up to make her let go. The threat was not idle, and Chad would do it even though Ichigo knew for a fact that the gentle giant hated fighting girls as much as he did.

Rukia, aware that Chad would do that to help Ichigo let go and leaned back so that her feet were back on the ground again. Tatsuki glared at both of them.

"Just cause there is a sub doesn't mean that I'm going to let you pull all of this crap over on them. Kuchiki-san, there are easier ways of getting your pencil back. And Ichigo, whatever the hell just happened, I would like to hear an explanation for all of the crap that's happened lately anyhow.

"So," the new figure who had just walked through the door and begun to settle their leather attache at the teacher's desk said quietly, their eyes gleaming deadly cold in the florescent light "would I."


	3. Present and Accounted For

He had dressed in normal clothing, as both Hitsugaya and Urahara Kisuke had warned him would be advisable for this position. One which the shopkeeper had also insisted was necessary for him to be able to succeed on this mission.

"Simple shopkeeper that I am, I would lose my happy home if I deprived Yourichi of future chances to torment you. Besides, Kuchiki-teicho, If you are around them all day and they do recall anything out of the ordinary, it will be a substitute teacher."

Histsugaya had confirmed the man's theory. "There is a safety with the gigais, and come night, it will be easy enough to sneak in and modify the class's memories. However, it is the few notable exceptions that have Soul Society worried."

"Not least of which being Kurosaki Ichigo. Which is also why going as a student would be a bad idea."

"The lack of respect that other students treat each other with is why going as a teacher is a good idea." Histsugaya had murmured, but Byakuya had been more concerned with Urahara's first comment why.

The answer was simultaneous.

"Rukia."

"Her cover story in the living world is that she is a transfer student. A transfer student who has never mentioned anything about family, any of which presumably live a great deal away," the shopkeeper had explained. "And while knowing his sisters well enough from their visits to the shop, I don't know what he would do, without the ability to modify memories, Ichigo may very well be frustrated and insist that his younger sisters and father evict her."

Byakuya had taken the garment bag that the erstwhile shinigami had handed him and thanked both of them before leaving to change. He was not sure that he was altogether pleased with Rukia staying anywhere near the ryoka. However, having her keeping tabs on him was certainly better than whatever Byakuya worried he might come up with on his own.

And it was Ichigo's sisters that Urahara had said that she was staying with, not Ichigo.

And having his sister thrown into the streets because he had exposed her cover on a mission in the living world would not count as protecting her.

So he had dressed in gigai this morning, wearing a black suit and tie with a white dress shirt, his hair forced into a tail rather than his kenseikan for what felt like the first time since he was a teenager, by Soul Society standards at least.

He had walked down the hall, taking in the students' behavior and fought back a sigh. There was a reason that he did not teach in Soul Society, a very good one. It certainly was not for lack of skill. Even the Captain Commander had verified that when he had given him permission to teach those in the Gotei 13 who wished to learn calligraphy rather than the students in the Spiritual Arts Academy. Although no doubt there were those who thought that a mark of incompetence on his part.

No, he did not teach because of a sheer lack of patience.

He expected competency, even perfection in work and the techniques that students learned, regardless of the subject.

Rukia and those who took his classes pushed themselves towards that exacting mark that he set for them and himself. But he had found very few others who were willing to in all his time in Seretei.

It did not surprise him that normal humans in a public high school would show less.

Still, it was clear that they had had experience with such standards as he walked past.

The talking stopped and they had stared after him, their emotions clearly stamped on their faces.

Fear. Pure unadulterated fear that had them suddenly scrambling to complete forgotten assignments and make it to homeroom before the bell.

He smirked, hiding the expression quickly as he opened the door to the classroom.

He was greeted by the sight of a petite girl who looked like a feminine version of Shiba Kaein standing in between Ichigo and Rukia while most of the ryoka were gathered around. All of this happened while the other students, as well as Matsumoto, Ikkaku, Yumichika, and his own vice-captain sat looking on mildly dumbfounded, definitely amused, and completely unfazed by the scene.

Until he had greeted the class, reaffirming the female Kaein's desire to know what was going on.

Then every single student, and shinigami posing as students, had sat up straight in their seats and looked up at where he was hanging the suit jacket on the back of the teacher's chair.

All except for one.

One orange haired substitute shinigami who was sitting slouched with a glare added to his usual scowl.

He removed the roll book from the teacher's briefcase which Hitsugaya had sent to him after insuring the teacher's absence the night before after they had spoken.

He had taken care not to inquire too closely into what he had meant by disposing of Tessai's home remedies for a good purpose. All that mattered was that it had been sufficient.

The last student skidded in before the bell, nearly tripping over the desk in the process. Nervously, the boy made his way to his seat just as the bell rang.

Picking up the roll book, Byakuya began to take attendance, keeping a mental tally in his own head.

"Asano Kiego"

The nearly tardy boy raised a hesitant hand.

"Present"

He quickly went through the list, checking off names.

"Kurosaki Ichigo"

There was no answer, no acknowledgment that he had even heard Byakuya. Not unless he counted the sigh of annoyance that he gave. He checked off the name anyway.

One substitute shinigami, my assignment for today, present.

A/N: While it may surprise anyone reading this who has read School Daze that Byakuya is doing a good job teaching, I am using the fact that in the omakes, Byakuya does teach calligraphy rather well, as well as his perfectionism as a basis for this.


	4. Pop Quizzes

Ichigo stared straight ahead, his mouth open. This had to be a joke, had to be someone's idea of a warped practical joke. There was no way that he was seeing this!

His protests did not remove the sight of Byakuya dressed in normal clothes and taking role from where he stood in the front of the room.

Looking out of the corner of his eye, he tried to see Renji's face. The redheaded shinigami looked completely in shock at what was happening. Even Rukia looked as if someone had hit her in the head with a board at seeing her adored older brother there with them.

"Abarai!" Byakuya snapped at his vice-captain. "What are you doing dressed like that and not in proper uniform? Report to the office now!"

Renji gave a startled but brisk "Hai," and made his way to the office, not before Ichigo had heard him swallow the "t-" he's made, catching himself before he gave away his captain's title.

"Now, as for the rest of you, there are going to be a few ground rules for today's class. I am your teacher for today. You will therefore address me as Kuchiki-sensei. There will be no talking among yourselves, and no horseplay. I expect you to be attentive and to do your work. Is that understood?"

Tatsuki raised an eyebrow suspiciously and raised her hand, interrupting whatever else Byakuya meant to tell the class.

"Kuchiki-sensei, doesn't that mean you are related to Rukia?"

Byakuya looked at her as if he considered the question impertinent- which it really wasn't. In fact, for Tatsuki, it had been damned polite, expressing not even a hint of annoyance but merely polite, almost deferential interest.

In a way, that worried Ichigo, and he meant to speak with Tatsuki about that later. The fact she was being so respectful to Byakuya had him wondering if she had picked up on anything that he needed to worry about as well.

Still, he did not bother to hide his own smirk at Byakuya's discomfort.

"I am not aware of having any blood relatives of that name, no. Now, if you will remove a sheet of paper from your notebooks, it says that you are to have a math test today."

Ichigo kept his eyes carefully on his paper as he completed the quiz, smiling as they checked the answers, his mind more on Byakuya's comment than the material.

_Of course not, you dumbass! She's your wife's little sister. If you two were blood related-!_

Ichigo tried not to grimace at the thought. I mean, while Rukia was perfectly capable of looking and even acting as obnoxious and stuck-up as he felt Byakuya was at times, the thought of it being anything else made him feel slightly nauseous.

Still, it was swallowed quickly enough by the eyebrow arched in surprise as he noticed Ichigo's quiz and Ichigo smirk widened as he watched Byakuya –_Kuchiki-sensei, my ass! –_take in the perfect score.


End file.
